ladies, and you poor young men,
i found this blurb that sums up the entire state of mind of men for the first decade or so
please, feel sorry for all the assholes, most of them are just stuck here:
oops…, i’m kinda, oops.. there it goes again! damn, wait, .. love? … no, anger?.. beep? beep; :surprise?!: overload… overdrive,,!,?? oh no! here i post again!
“If I cum now, will it be too soon” ubersite.com/m/17812
or why guys are quiet in bed (482481 hits)
Category: Science & Environmental

Rating: 1.65 on 599 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jon Elkins [Authenticated] (View user info) at 2003-11-04 23:17:40

I was once having a conversation with Jesus and our girlfriends and Razor’s house, and an interesting subject came up. (And yes, I purposely included the name of an uberuser guru in a pale attempt to gain popularity) Anyway, someone asked, “Why are guys so quiet in bed.” And while this is by no means true for all guys, here is my answer.

Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to generally the guy’s job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I’ve got to offer. Again, I can’t speak for anyone else, this is just in my personal experience.

Not only am I thinking during sex, I am multi-tasking. My neuro-net processor of a brain is pounding algorithms as fast as my penis is pounding pussy.

Just what is going through my head during sex? Like the moon, this is a frontier so far journeyed only by man. But here is a small window of what goes on in my head during sex:
“Alright, time for some action”
“I hope I don’t fuck up this time”
“Is that the right hole?”
“Oh wait, there it is”
“All right, lets start out slow”

It isn’t long before my thoughts turn into a quiet panic.

BRAIN: “Damn, she just moved.”
BRAIN: “Did I do something right, or did I hurt her”

BRAIN: “She’s making noises!”
BRAIN: “Pain noises or pleasure noises?”
BRAIN: “Let try stepping up the pace a little”

BRAIN: “More noises, I pretty sure that’s pleasure now”
BRAIN: “Oh yeah, she’s starting to flush, I like that”
BRAIN: “Lets try changing the angle a bit”
………………………..
BRAIN: “Nope, didn’t like that”

BRAIN: “Damn, what was I doing before?”
BRAIN: “Fuck it, lets try a different position”
WOMAN: “OUCH!”
BRAIN: “Yeah….that one was definitely pain>
WOMAN: “What are you doing?”
BRAIN: “Mayday! Mayday!”
BRAIN: “Decrease Velocity!”
BRAIN: “Open flaps”
BRAIN: “Landing gear engaged”
BRAIN: “Disengage primary thrusters”
BRAIN: “Systems check”
ME: “You allright?”
WOMAN: “Uh….Yeah”
BRAIN: “No system damage”
ME: “Allright, lets try this again”

five minutes later….computer pretty much takes over
BRAIN: “Allright, back on track”

BRAIN: “Target in sight, hold position”

BRAIN: “C’mon…….C’mon”

BRAIN: “Hold it……Hold it…..”
COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING!
COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR
BRAIN: “Oh shit”
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
BRAIN: “Oh shit, not yet!”

BRAIN: “Just a little longer”
COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
BRAIN: “FUCK! I’m not going to make it”
BRAIN: “Pull out and prepare for manual override”
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: “Pull out, pull out”
COMPUTER: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED
BRAIN: “NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!”
COMPUTER: TARGET LOCKED….TARGET LOCKED
BRAIN: “If I cum now, will it be too soon?”
BRAIN: “If I cum now, will it be too soon?”
BRAIN: “If I cum now, will it be too soon?”
COMPUTER:
COMPUTER:
BRAIN: “Must….hold….on”
COMPUTER:
BRAIN: “can’t…..hold it”
COMPUTER:
BRAIN: “Its out of my control, its in God’s hands now”
COMPUTER: “PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING”

COMPUTER: “AUTOMATIC SYSTEM SHUT DOWN: COMMENCING”

WOMAN: “Honey, are you alright?”
ME: Yeah…..my head hurts….”
WOMAN: “Sorry”
ME: No, the other head”
WOMAN: “What?”
ME: Nothing”
ME: Did you cum”
WOMAN: “What, you didn’t notice”
ME: Actually, I was kinda too busy to notice”
WOMAN: “You’re so weird”
ME: You should try being the pilot next time”
WOMAN: “Get off me, I need to pee”

Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?
Ever wonder what he’s feeling”
Its not pain
Its not pleasure
It is deep, hard, seething thought.”
article in origional context here

so, we see that much of male pattern insanity is simply men driving
it’s not always men driving, but maleness is all about attempting control,
ultimately, this process is mirrored in just about anything a man does
once he has taken an interest
from the first date, to the home, to the fight that could end it,
his eagerness, impatience, agressivness, desire, and control are tested
and the script of this knowledge is hard to shake
if you don’t know it, or try to ignore it,
women will teach you, and you will try to learn
so it is impossible to ignore, without becoming hopeless
wise, lucky, old men, they get it, or else they arrange it so they don’t care,
but it’s simple
we are tested, even guppies want both sides of the coin
every stroke contains the question, can you get carried away?/can you control it?

women don’t want to torture us
but evolution puts them in a place where they must need mutually exclusive traits
primal woman need primal man to lose control
only for her
needs control over overwhelming urge
at her command
and brains, and culture, and war have entrenched these needs
but when it’s just a game, or you feel like you’re winning, or all the needs are met
it is a fun ride,
esp. if you hit the trifecta and get all three, for a long happy life of love together
but don’t expect that any of that should happen to you

if you expect it, you won’t get,
if you don’t hope for it, you won’t get it
if you don’t work for it, you won’t get it
work to hard for it, you won’t get it

men want the same things, in much the same way
but if we can’t find it ourselves, we need to be culled
the male is simply more expendable, always,
that’s what maleness is

this is why straight men mostly secretly wish they were gay
and it is the reason that women feel the same
but it is the engine that has driven the rising complexity,
and powers, of human evolution
to the extreme of evolving the female orgasm

this additional feedback mechanism
creates a whole new level of complexity
along the lines of the same old themes

the question at this point is what do we do with all that
our tech begins to evolve itself
we must wind down the intensity of competition,
else find another venue for it than life

so:

men, swing the pendulum back from external control to internal control,
whichever way you dare to swing the pendulum, don’t swing it too far!

womyn, how about you try driving the beast more often?
whether or not you drive, accept it when you arrive where the driver thought you were going

both sexes must learn to better accept/expect failure more often
much more effective that trying to convince each other of our differing definitions of failure
more fun to share roles, swap sides
makes more whole people